I’m a nanny. And I’m pregnant.
For a couple years now I’d been dealing with infertility, so we were open to the idea of adoption. Sharing our genes with our child wasn’t really a big deal for us, we just wanted to be parents.
Maybe because of my profession, or maybe just because it’s who I am, I know that I have the capacity to love kids that are not mine. Or more accurately, to love other children as though they were mine. So the thought of adoption didn’t haunt me, and we began to explore the possibility of adoption.
But as it so often happens, just as we were about to stop trying to conceive, I began to receive treatment for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. And in January, we got the exciting (BIG) news we’d almost come not to expect! #finally
[bctt tweet=”I know I have the capacity to love another’s child as if they were mine. #nannylife #motherhoodmonth” username=”happynestuk”]
Milestone 1: Learning The Big Lesson
Being a nanny and having cared for children for many years, I think my experience actually eased the stress of first time pregnancy. I felt that I was definitely more prepared for the arrival of a baby than other first-time moms. I thought to myself, ‘well I’ve done it before,’ so I knew I could handle it. Even better, I knew that I would actually enjoy it.
Well that’s what I thought anyhow. But the fact is, for all I thought I knew, I’ve never actually been pregnant.
I realise now that whilst caring for children has prepared me for children, I wasn’t at all prepared for pregnancy. So I’m experiencing many firsts, and it’s not all been easy – particularly during the first few months.
In truth, I’m a bit of a control freak. I know that cause and affect is kind of a big deal. So I make a conscious effort to control as much as I can. Not because I feel the need to be controlling, but because I know that my actions and the capacity of anticipating certain events can prevent so many things from going wrong.
As a nanny, or as anyone who’s tried to pull off an entire day corralling children will relate, the more you can control the more fluid the day will be. I’m talking timing and planning. So I’ve been relying on these instincts and actions to make my life easier. If it’s under my control, I can handle it and I’ll make things work.
Except that with a baby growing inside me, I’ve come to accept that I must do as Elsa does and “Let it go…” I must have faith and believe that mother nature will feed, protect, and care for itself.
Learning to trust my body and to let go has been one of the hardest lessons I’ve ever had to learn. As I can’t control it, the pregnancy I’d envisioned for years (you know, that fairy tale perfect image in your head) hasn’t come to fruition. Then again, each day I find I’m believing more and more in myself, in this amazing and surreal thing that my body is creating. Our little Sofia, who is still so tiny, has already taught me so much!
[bctt tweet=”Caring for children has prepared me for children. But I wasn’t prepared for pregnancy. #motherhoodmonth #nannylife” username=”@happynestuk”]
Milestone 2: Telling The Kids I’m Pregnant
This week is the week I plan to tell the kids I nanny for that I have a baby in my tummy. I’m so excited! I don’t know what to expect or how they are going to react.
As I’m reaching the 20-week mark, I’m starting to prepare myself to say goodbye to them. Well at least for 9 months. Just the thought of that breaks my heart into pieces. Imagining those wonderful kids having someone else care for them makes me tear up. But as I tell my nanny children, we must learn to accept change, and be ready to share.
I know it’s a job, and I should see it as one, but it’s impossible to not get attached when you’re caring for the best children in the world (yes, ok, I may be biased). I’m a pregnant nanny, but my nanny children are already a huge part of my life and I hope that I too am a part of theirs.
The best job is not the one that pays tonnes of money, it’s the one that being paid is a bonus, because you would do it even without the money.
[bctt tweet=”I’ve learned during this pregnancy that I must do as Elsa does and “Let it go…” #motherhoodmonth #Frozen #pregnancy” username=”@happynestuk”]
Milestone 3: The Big Announcement & 21-22 Week Update
The day had come to tell the nanny children that I was their much loved, pregnant nanny…
We were sat down cuddling in the snuggle chair and E was with his head on my tummy. It felt like the appropriate moment to share my good news with them. The moment went a bit like this:
N: “You know what Neuza has in her tummy?”
N: “What do you think it is?”
T: “Ahhhh a chicken”
E: “A car”
N: “Haha, what if I told you it’s a baby!”
… they were both really surprised. Then suddenly E said, “you know that your tummy is going to be soooooo BIG!”
N: “But honey, don’t you think it’s already big?”
E looked at my tummy for a while and thought about my question. I think he was kind of surprised how big it is (they hadn’t even realised it was big). Then he said, “but it’s going to get bigger!”
The entire conversation was so natural. They reacted as though I’d simply said something mundane, and then moved on to a different subject.